Keith Plays a Wedding -- Saturday, 27May2017

So this nice lady heard me playing at Dana Point and saw my little card that says "Yes! I play parties! $200" and emailed me to hire me to play her wedding. She was convinced that her mom would love my stuff. The wedding was going to be way the heck up in Downey, so I should have charged her extra for the mileage, but, you know, it's her wedding, so I decided to be nice.

Of course, no good deed goes unpunished, and they decide that I should not only play the Cocktail Hour, I should also play the Dinner. Unfortunately for me, these things are an hour and a half apart. Combined, I'll be there for 3.5 hours, a bit over my promised 3 hour maximum. I'm annoyed, but suppose that, with the break, I can go overtime some.

I looked up where it was at, and it was a golf course right around the corner from where my mom used to live. I can find that, easy.

Come the day of the wedding, I drive up there, find the golf course, but can't find where I'm supposed to be playing. There's a bunch of people setting up for a big wedding banquet, but they're all just workers, nobody that looked to be in charge. I settle down in the lobby, figuring the Planner will come find me eventually, but it never happens. She finally calls me (I don't have her number, but she has mine), and she doesn't see me in the lobby. I'm starting to suspect that there's something wrong, and ask her if I'm supposed to be at the Rio Hondo Golf Course. Nope, I'm supposed to be at the Los Amigos Golf Course. Who'd'a thunk that Downey'd have two golf courses less than two miles apart, on the same street?!?

I get there in time to get started just as people start arriving from the wedding to this Cocktail Hour, out behind one of the golf course tee areas. People are pretty nice, and some of them don't know anyone else, so they're looking for something to do and hang out with me. That part goes well enough, now I've got an hour and a half break.

I wander around, trying to figure out where this dinner part will be, and of course, the Planner is nowhere to be found. Turns out, it's 300 yards away, tucked into a grove of trees. I have to pack up the whole setup, drag it down there, and set it back up again.

Then the Planner calls me, wondering where I am. "Stalling." "Oh, but you could come down and start playing!" "You have a DJ. How can I start playing?" "Oh, we can tell him to stop!" "Really?!? Why'd you hire him, then?"

So she's mad at me for being "difficult", and I'm annoyed at her for being a Planner with no actual Plan. But, sure, I'd rather play than sit in my car, so I go down there and set up again (after much confusion about *where* exactly I'm supposed to set up).

The two "wild and crazy"-est family members are attempting to M.C. this shindig, and finally cut the DJ off and ask me to play. I do a few songs, and everyone seems happy with my music, but then the M.C. lady fulfills my greatest dread, and wants me to "play something faster".

I never made any secret of the fact that I'm not a "dance band", so I tell her, if she wants something faster, why did she shut down the DJ?

So we go back to what the original plan seemed to be: the DJ plays "party music" in the gap until dinner, and I play while they're eating. So the DJ plays a few songs, but then the wedding party finally arrives from their picture taking, and the bride wants *me* to play.

The M.C. lady still wants me to play "something faster", but she's not the boss of me, so instead, I play Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight". The whole crowd (about 200 people)lets out a collective "Awwww", and all the couples jump up and head for the dance floor (that they've been ignoring through the "party music"). Take that, Mr. DJ.

I play a while more, but they suddenly remember that they have a bunch of chores to attend to: bouquet and garter throwing, introduction of the "sponsors" (family they've hit up for big donations for wedding expense coverage), a traditional Pilipino wedding dance number, a friend's heartfelt but terribly rendered song, and who knows what all else.

Dinner finally arrives (late), but they're still doing all kinds of stuff, so the DJ is covering it all. I hang around, thinking that they'll want me to continue pretty soon, but it never happens. As they're cleaning up dinner, I wander "backstage" and snarf some food (nobody thinks of the poor musician, starving to death). Finally, around 10:00, I decide that it's definitely DJ from here on out, so I start packing up my stuff. While I'm dragging out to the car, several people come up and tell me how great I was.

I can't find the Planner anywhere, so I have to trust that they'll mail me a check, and they do a couple of days later. No mention of the fact that I was stuck there for almost 7 hours of my 3 hours max. And no "extra" for the overtime, either. I'm definitely gonna have to review my rates before I agree to another wedding...