Keith at Irvine Spectrum "Myrtle Court" -- 05Dec2009

Right after Halloween, in a fit of hubris caused by two quite lucrative gigs in a row, I signed up to play at the Main Stage at Irvine Spectrum, which they call "Myrtle Court" for some no-doubt logical, but unknown to the general public, reason. I figured it would be Christmas time -- there would be lots of people there; I'd get to do my Christmas songs and sell my Christmas CDs; and if I got my daughters to sit at the Sales Table, we'd make out like bandits, even though you have to pay a $50 "setup fee" to play there.

Well, let's just say it didn't work out the way I'd pictured it. Actually, come to think of it, I did pay the fifty bucks, and there were lots of people there, and I did play lots of Christmas music, and my daughters did sit at the table "selling" the CDs -- I guess it's just the "bandits" part that didn't work out.

We did sell a handful of CDs, and covered the fifty plus eighteen, but I was really hoping to do better than that -- mostly because I had promised the girls that they could split anything over 50, but 9 bucks apiece wasn't really what any of us had in mind. (I gave them each $30, putting myself solidly in the red for the evening.)

But that's OK! I'm not in it for the money. It was actually a pretty nice place to play -- they turned down the fountain so it's hardly noticeable (and it's at least a consistent sound unlike the Food Court fountain), and the "house music" was completely off, unlike the Food Court where it's gotten louder than ever, made even worse by the new stage location even nearer a pair of speakers.

The side walls there are also parallel, and seem to make a nice little auditorium. It sounded pretty good to me. And I was singing pretty good, after so many weeks of this cruddy throat. I even seemed to have expanded bass range, but still could hit the high notes. And it wasn't too cold for my fingers to play, either.

My brother and his wife came by, as did a good friend from the Indian Princess program with his. And an old high school friend stumbled on us early on, completely surprised to see me there. The girls were there with me, and Daleen came by later on with the dogs. So I had friendly faces most of the night to sing to, which always helps a lot -- so big thanks to those that came out.

And, as I said, there were lots of people -- but they were all in a big hurry, either to get to the shopping, or to get out of the cold. There are tables and chairs along the fountain, and when Warren and I played there in the summer, there were lots of people sitting around, hanging out and listening. It sounds painfully obvious now, but people apparently don't just hang out when it's freezing outside.

Oddly, it now seems like the Food Court is a better place to actually rope people in, and collect some tips -- at least for a "cover band" like me (not to mention it's free). People are obliged to sit and listen for a while, at least while they're finishing their pizza, and can get hooked -- maybe get comfortable with how this is working, and make a request or two. At Myrtle Court, I'm just a curiosity that's impeding the traffic flow, and no one hears enough on their way through to really want to stop and listen more. And frankly, I hate to be immodest, but I think that I sound *too* "professional", and people assume I'm the paid entertainment, so they don't need to tip -- or even applaud. Still, I do think I'll want to try it again sometime when the weather's nicer.

But the big excitement for the evening was later on, when I was singing away, and a guy jumped up on the stage from behind me (which is a big open area), and stole my hat, mid-song, right off of my head! Everyone assumed that he was some friend of mine messing with me, so no one really reacted. But I sure didn't recognize him as he was disappearing into the crowd, so I told Geneva to "Chase that guy down!", and she leapt up to do that.

He didn't seem to realize that he was being chased, so he slowed down inside the Barnes and Nobel, and she shouted, "Hey you, gimme back that hat", and just snatched it out of his hands as he stood there surprised. Obviously she wasn't going to try to detain him, so he snuck out the back door. She did exactly the right thing -- she got the hat and got away from him, 'cuz who knows how crazy he could really have been. Fortunately, where she caught him, there were lots of people around, so it probably couldn't have gotten *too* crazy.

I couldn't think of anything else to do but wait to see if she did or didn't manage to catch up to him, so I just went on playing. A song and a half later, Geneva reappeared with the hat, and got a round of applause and hoots from the crowd.

This morning, as I was wondering about how the video I usually take came out, it occurred to me -- did I catch the whole thing "on tape"? Sure enough.

Turns out he had his girlfriend with him, watch for the lady in the long yellow coat, behind me right at the beginning. They're just strolling down the mall like anyone else. He apparently tells her what he's planning, and she just laughs while he's committing his daring robbery. After he takes off, she just walks back the other way after him. We didn't even know about the girlfriend until I found the video.

Anyway, pretty amazing. How can a guy just think that that kind of thing is OK? I can't even put it off on "Kids these days", 'cuz the guy's not even a kid. But he clearly thinks it's some kind of joke, 'cuz he's got a big grin on his face the whole time.

But, all's well that ends well, I guess. Geneva got the hat back, an amazing story to tell, and earned a new nickname: "Ninja-neva". It was a total miracle that she was there at all, 'cuz I'm all tied up with cables and a guitar, so *I* sure couldn't have caught him!

Of course, I'll never be able to wear that hat again without thinking about this, and it'll be worrisome to do gigs where the back side of the stage is open to the public (which is, now, *both* stages at Spectrum), but I'll get over it, I suppose.

So, crazy night all round. And like John Sebastian said, "We did it for the stories we could tell".