Keith at Borders South Coast Plaza -- 19Mar2010

Warren couldn't make it this time, so I went solo. It was probably the most responsive crowd I've ever seen there -- maybe my doing; more likely just luck. But I did come up with a new gag to try to get over the biggest hurdle of every gig -- how to get started -- and maybe that explains it a little. I always try to start with a standard-issue "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen..." type intro, but it's frequently too awkward to even do that. It's really hard to just start talking, loudly, into a crowd of people, none of whom is even looking up.

So I came up with this idea to say, "OK, wave if you can hear me in the back." (This is pretty standard, and easy enough to break straight into.) But then, "Good. Now keep waving and say: 'Hi, Keith!'". This is pretty lame, but breaks the ice and starts the self-introduction. And I have to say, it worked. People giggled a little, and I was able, since I had some attention, to keep talking, introduce myself, do the other standard joke about the song lists, and start the first song with some connection already started.

I also started with a different song. Usually I start with "With a Little Help From My Friends", just 'cuz it's easy to play and easy on my voice to get warmed up, and the words are kind of appropriate ("What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?"). But I've been having a lot of luck with "Hotel California" lately, so I started with that, and got a pretty huge response -- especially for this place. It's just got a lot more "oomph" -- though I played and sang it poorly, without being warmed and limbered up. Still, probably a keeper.

Anyway, I don't think I've ever had applause after every single song, all night, before, at any Borders. Even when I manage to get them started at the beginning, it usually fades out after a while. But there were some friendly and enthusiastic college kids who stayed interested, and other people showed up and got into the spirit as the time went on. Great night. Only nine bucks, but I'll take attention over cash, any time.

I'd had a really bad cold all week, so I wasn't even sure I'd make it at all, but with enough cough medicine and lemonade, I was able to sing OK, and only had to stop to cough in the middle of one song. I did have a slightly breathy/raspy tone that made me wish I knew some Rod Stewart songs, but I don't. I'd'a sounded great on "Maggie May", though...

K&W at Borders Mission Viejo -- 13Mar2010

At the very least, it was nice to play warm for once. But there were some responsive people, and we did quite well ($34 to split) for a Borders gig. $10 of that must have come from a nice but shy lady who had to have her husband make her request for "Lollipop Tree" for her, and who subsequently bought a "Waltzing With Bears" CD to take home. He was friendly, too, and helped out by taking some photos with Warren's camera, and aiming and starting up my new (permanently?) borrowed-from-work Flip video camera.

Had a guy come up and show an amazing agnosticism for instrumentation and style by asking for "anything by 'Cream'", which, of course, we had to turn down -- except that I do play "Can't Find My Way Home", which is by Cream descendent-band "Blind Faith", so I did, but he was gone already anyhow.

But the fun part of playing there is seeing how many of the strolling-by people we can manage to snag on their way past the café. The people already in, or stopping into, the café aren't there for the music, they're there for the seats -- a place to sit and read an unbought book. So they're "listening" whether they want to or not. But the people walking by aren't "stuck" there, and if they stop to listen to the rest of one, or maybe a few songs, that's something.

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 12Mar2010

The weather decided to show me that, despite appearances, it's not really Spring yet. I had my warm jacket, but not the thermals that had worked so well in January. So I played with frozen fingers again -- I'm getting used to it.

But it also kept the people at home I guess, because it was pretty sparse. But, hey, once the equipment is all set up, you play anyway -- and it still beats watching TV.

I did have some small groups of people tune in now and again, and it was kind of fun to be able to focus on them directly, since there would often be no one else nearby at all. I had a pair of teenage girls settle in for several tunes (Beatles, natch), and I had a mom come by with two little kids (4 and 5?). The little girl wanted to hear some dance music, so I played "Mister Postman" for her. But not before giving her one of my prepared-in-advance "Easter Egg with dry beans" shakers (Daleen's idea). She didn't really know how to shake it in time, but she was shaking it anyway, and I did several kids' songs for them.

Then some older girls came up and wanted to hear "Waltzing With Bears". Turns out that one of them was an old Princess fan of mine, and knew exactly what to ask for. She also wanted me to sing my "I'm an Indian Princess" song, but there were a dozen or twenty people listening in by now, so I declined. It's one thing to sing that with a hundred little girls joining in at a campout, but quite another to sing it solo in front of strangers.

Later in the evening, a group of 4 vatos with porkpie hats and the requisite tats and earlobe plugs came over and sat right up front, looking tough. But they found a song list and started asking for songs, polite as can be. They always seem to want to hear "Ring of Fire".

But all night long I was fighting against the way-too-loud house music. I called Maintenance, and left a message. I waited an hour and called again, and he said he'd be "right over". I don't need him to come over, I need him to go to where the volume knob is, but whatever. Nothing seemed to happen, so I called again, and he said he'd be right over again, so I just stood there waiting.

The drum track from the "Latin jazz" kind of stuff they have going cuts right through, and is incredibly distracting. He showed up and argued with me over what's "too loud", and whining that if he turned it down here, it would be down all around the area. I told him that that's not my problem -- that I can't play when that stuff is as loud as I am. He said he'd tweak it again and "see how it is over there", and it finally went down enough that I could ignore it for the remaining hour and a half. I don't want to be "that complaining guy" and have them stop booking me, but I also think I deserve a little respect, and an environment that's play-in-able. I'll have to craft a carefully worded email to the event coordinator...

Made only $22, due to the small turnout, but had a lot of fun getting to play some of the lesser-done songs in the book. Like "Ten Degrees and Getting Colder" in honor of my frozen fingers...

"Captain Eo Tribute" at Disneyland -- 05Mar2010

We went to Disneyland to check out the "Captain Eo" movie that they revived because of Michael Jackson's death. Actually, it's billed as a "Captian Eo" *Tribute*, which I guess means that this is not the real Michael Jackson, but a impersonator. He sure looked like the real one though, and I'd'a bet it was really him, until he delivered his first uber-dramatic line, "We're going in!", and it was dubbed in by a 10-year-old girl -- probably Dakota Fanning. That kind shattered the illusion.

Anyway, Michael/Dakota is the pilot of a little egg-shaped ship, with a crew of robots stolen from that lame "Wizard of Oz" sequel, a two-headed muppet, an untidy blue elephant (cast to deliver the requisite amount of vaguely not-quite-fart jokes), and a cute little flying thing with a human-wrist-shaped blank spot where he sits.

They get yelled at by Admiral Bushy-brows over Princess Leia's video phone, who tells them to go fly through some recycled Death Star tunnels to find a green "beacon" light, despite their actual goal being the Wicked Witch of the West's "throne room", where she's gotten herself tangled up in a bunch of industrial tubing that's inexplicably dangling from the ceiling. She's been up there so long that her fingernails are four inches long, and she's pretty grumpy about it.

Michael/Dakota and crew show up and she immediately tries to throw them in the dungeon, but they insist on putting on a show first. Queen Giger-Makeup can't really stop them, since she's still stuck to the ceiling, and her guards keep getting their half-a-mile-of-industrial-tubing costumes turned into brightly-colored shredded Flashdance Lycra by some rainbow beams that inexplicably come from a few inches left-and-above of Michael's palms, like he's some kind of fabulous-costume-and-makeup spewing gay Spiderman.

But he's not, he's Tribute to Michael Jackson, so he gets all the newly-costumed Not-Zombies into a Not-a-Triangle diamond-shaped arrangement, and does a Not-the-Thriller dance, to a hoppin' beat laid down by Gumby versions of his robot friends who have transformed into a set of self-playing metal drums, a synth played by the Flatulephant, and Spock's stand-up bass played by the rear-end-less flying butterfly-monkey. The theater itself tries to get in on the action, thumping the seats up and down just a quarter beat off the actual rhythm.

Queen Cargo-Net-Accident is apparently even more sick of Michael's crotch-thrusts than the rest of us, so she starts screaming and swinging back and forth in her nightmare-hammock, until Michael send out one more blast of Gay Power from his almost-palms, which transforms her steam-factory palace into a Greek temple, breaks her down from the ceiling, and turns her into Aurora, Bringer of the Dawn from Fantasia.

This was apparently Michael/Dakota's mission from the beginning -- bringing Fabulousness to the non-Fabulous -- so he gathers up his de-transformed crew/band, and while misusing the definite article in the first decipherable lyrics of the whole show, departs with "We are here to chaaaaange the wuuuuurld".

Fortunately, this Star Wars/Thriller mash-up/rip-off was perpetrated by the actual rights-holders of those properties, so lawsuits don't ensue as Michael/Dakota flies off in his Space-Combi into a twinkling starfield.

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 26Feb2010

Another low-key but big-fun night. The sound seems way better these days -- probably because of smarter placement of the monitor speaker. It's tricky, 'cuz you have to be able to hear it, but if it's pointing too much at your mic or guitar, you get feedback. I've tried lots of places, and none have worked very well, until I lately tried putting it on the ground in front of me. This is where everyone else puts it, and, surprise! (not?), it works really well there. Sometimes I think I'm so smart that I'm an idiot.

Not too cold, finally. Lots of teens out and about, some individual packs coming by again and again. Had that thing again, where I can't get anyone to come up and get a song list and make requests off of it, until one group finally does, and when the other groups see them reading the list and requesting, they get jealous and jump up to get their own list. So I go from nobody making requests to having to queue them up, and put people off with "OK, I'll do that one after I get to their one, and their one..." When it rains...

I snapped one of my foot pedals right in two -- I guess I was stepping on it to press the button and kind of lost my balance, so I put my full weight on it. That Pergo flooring stuff I made it out of is really strong and stiff for its thickness, but now I guess I know its limits. Fortunately, I have more at home and it was easy to just make another piece, good as new.

Strangely, exactly $49 again, same as Saturday last week. Which possibly disproves Saturdays being better than Fridays? Or more likely proves that the tip results are essentially random -- or based on factors more important than which day it is, like, oh I don't know, how well I'm playing, and who shows up?

I'm up again next Saturday, but the weather report says it's gonna rain, so maybe not.

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 20Feb2010

A really great (and lucrative: $49) night. I got there really early and there was nobody in the food court at all. I started setting up and the ice cream bar dude (the store I'm right in front of) wandered out and facetiously asked "So, you gonna fill the house tonight?" I told him I doubted it, but after a while there were plenty of people to play for, and several groups who were getting pretty attached.

I was afraid that after the very bad voice I'd had the night before, that this night would certainly be terrible, but somehow I'd completely recovered and had the best voice that I can remember. Clear and high... I was easily hitting high notes that I usually strain to get to. So much so that I deliberately pulled out "Blackbird", with the high note that I usually make a passing feint at, and hope no one notices. This time, nabbed it.

I got to play my new "Strawberry Fields" several times (I'm liking it). Got a lot of good reception to "Hotel California". Lots of Beatles. And had a real live James Taylor fan to play some of the great but obscure ones for. Lots of little 2-4 year olds this time, for some reason.

Had an actual incident pretty close to heckling, though. Some high school guys were playing around in the fountain, and when I started doing "I'm Yours", the most obnoxious of them decided to "sing (or bellow) along". I just ignored him and kept going, and he gave it up before too long. I guess I'm actually pretty lucky that that's as bad as it gets around here. Good to live in a nice neighborhood.

K&W at Borders South Coast Plaza -- 19Feb2010

A pleasant, quiet, and suddenly very short, gig. It had been two weekends (i.e., three weeks) since I'd played anywhere, so I was a little rusty, but not too bad. The worse part was that I had an inexplicably scratchy throat, almost from the very beginning.

But we had some very forgiving people, apparently, because we got a reasonably warm response, even with the lousy vocals. And I had the chance to try out some of the new songs I've been working on over the hiatus.

One that was a surprise to me is "Mister Postman", which is trivial to play, but I thought it would be a fun song to have, maybe for when little kids wanted to dance. I learned it a long time ago, but it just sounded terrible -- dull and lame. But I tried it out at home with the harmony box singing up a third, and Ping! It sounds great! Makes a *huge* difference. A guy was sitting down front and asked about what was making the harmonies (it's surprising how few people do), so I played that song as a prime example of how it works.

We also had a visit by a fellow singer/player that we met at some of the Yorba Linda places, Mark Hermann. He didn't say much, but he did put in some interesting requests...

Anyway, we were going along, expecting to shut down at the usual 9:40 so the store can close at 10:00, but, between songs, I heard the manager announcing that "It's 8:40, and we'll be closing in 20 minutes. Please bring any last minute purchases..." What?!? So I played a song while Warren went to talk to her, and sure enough, they close at 9:00 now. It's that darn Economy again! We barely got in an hour and a half! She said we could start earlier next time (gee, thanks), but it's already hard to start on time (7:00) on a "work day" (we have a standing date on the third Friday). I guess we can try though, next month.

On the other hand, with as bad as my voice was behaving, it was probably a mercy just to shut me up...

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 30Jan2010

It was cold again, but not as bad as last time. Lots of people at dinner time, and not quite as empty afterwards. I guess Spring really is coming.

It was pretty quiet most of the time, but I usually had someone to play to. There was an older couple who were clearly listening and enjoying the stuff, and finally came up to request "Uncle Walter", so I played it, and when they came up again later (to buy a "Bears" CD), I asked where they'd heard that song before. Turns out the guy actually had an Uncle Walter, who had died just 3 days after they'd heard the song on the radio. A friend of theirs had told them about the guy who plays that song at Spectrum on Saturdays, so they found me on the web and have been watching my cartoon version (and sending the link to their family Back East), and wanted to come hear it in person. Wow -- that was kinda fun. Actually, I could tell they had been hearing the Official Version (the one on the CD), since they were clearly surprised when I went into the new Extra Verse (the one about Aunt Matilda).

A little boy (about 12, clearly sent up by his dad) came up and, while fumbling with a five dollar bill, asked if I would play a song they requested. I said, "Sure", and he asked for "Oh Bla Di, Oh Bla Da". I guess I should have been more specific -- you can ask for *a* song, but not *any* song! So I showed him The List, which he took back to his dad, and then returned asking for "In My Life". I said, "OK", and the kid asked "How much is it?" I said "It's free!" Of course, his dad made him come back and deposit the fiver anyway. (Part of the $60 I made overall.)

Later in the evening when it was mostly empty, I decided to give a try to my latest Beatles song, "Strawberry Fields Forever", which I've been working up an arrangement for. It's hard to tell how songs will "work" in The Wild playing for real people, as opposed to how they work in the bedroom playing for the cat. I've had songs that I thought were sounding weak turn out really well, and others that seemed like they were shoe-ins go all lead ballooney on me. I'm not really done with this one, but I figured I'd give it a try now, and it if failed, I could save myself the trouble of getting it entirely together. But it sounded quite good out there, even half done, so I guess I'll keep at it.

I'm never quite sure if my stripped-down and/or peculiar arrangements of these kinds of songs (see "Lucy in the Sky") are brilliant, or if it's just that I've played them a few jillion times by the time I'm ready to show them in public and I'm brainwashed into thinking they sound good. I guess, by definition, I'll never know...

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 23Jan2010

Wow. It was really, really, cold. There were some people out at "dinner time", presumably because the inside area was all full, but it got pretty thin after that. At least it wasn't raining, like the previous five days of storms. But at times, I was playing to nothing but empty tables and a trio of spitting turtle statues. Of course, I've played to stone silence before...

I thought about calling Maintenance and asking them to bring me a heater, but afterwards I was talking to the guys and they said that the heaters are all out being repaired, so they couldn't have brought one anyway. So I stood there in my longjohns, shirt, wooly vest, leather jacket, overcoat, and fingerless gloves, shivering and trying to read the chord sheets through the clouds of my breath.

Fortunately, my brother and his wife came by, and he loaned me his "London cabbie" hat. That helped, generally, but it's still pretty hard to play with frozen-stiff fingers.

But it was still fun. Even a bad night playing still beats watching TV. There were several groups of somewhat appreciative teenagers, early on, and a cute little toddler girl trying to dance, so I knocked out "Twist and Shout" for her. And it's always great to have my brother there. He even got up and sang "Love Has No Pride". And later, a pretty college girl came by and told me I have a "very lovely" voice. I said that that was just the electronics, but she insisted that, no, she's A Singer, and she Knows. Can't argue with that. Won't, anyway.

It was the first outing for my new, super-sturdy music stand, which did great -- it's nice to be able to flip through The Book without the stand threatening to collapse. And also the first outing for the harmony-box button-pusher I built out of some scrap Pergo last weekend. It gives me far bigger targets to step on, so I don't have to look down at the box to click the harmonies on and off. And no accidental volume-knob step-spinning, either. Worked great. Gave me the courage to try my newly developed, way-too-elaborate, three-harmony-mode "Here Comes the Sun", which I mostly got away with.

Just before they left, my brother asked for James Taylor's "You Can Close Your Eyes", which I really should play more often. It came out pretty well on the video, despite my frozen fingers, so I put it up on the YouTube -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5vkjGP1DYE

For the record, I only made $20, but that was actually unexpectedly good, considering how few people were out. The weather report shows cold again, with rain likely for next Saturday. I think it's just trying to show me that it coulda been worse...

K&W at Borders Mission Viejo -- 16Jan2010

What a great night! The café started out about half full, and never really filled up. (A year or two ago, this place was standing room only from the time we got there right up to closing. Down economy, or three-day weekend?) But most of the people there were very friendly and actually responded when I asked if there were any requests. And once a few people had done it, the rest decided it was OK, so they joined in. It was definitely the highest ratio of requesters per capita that we've ever had.

A young couple were there right at the beginning, with a already-bought CD and songlist on the table, clearly waiting for us to finish setting up and get to work. When I asked her for a request, she immediately said "Waltzing with Bears". She wasn't young enough to be an ex-Indian Princess, so I asked where she had heard that song before, and she said that they'd heard us before. Wow -- actual fans. Not that they'd sought us out to hear us, but they did consider themselves lucky to have chanced upon us again. That's *almost* as flattering...

Later on, we had a very sweet and appreciative Hawaiian lady who sat at the back, requesting songs and just beaming the whole time. She had just happened by, liked the sound, and sat down and stayed all the way until closing. She really wanted us to play "White Bird", but I didn't know it, no matter how many times she asked.

When we were done, I went back to give her a business card so she could check our website schedule to maybe come see us again, and she asked what we do "for real". I told her I was in Marketing at Cisco, and that Warren was -- and I just made this up off the top of my head -- a "technical editor", though he'd been (not so) recently laid off. She said that that was funny, 'cuz *she's* a technical editor, too. That seemed bizarre since I had just made that job title up to be "close enough" for layman's conversation, but it seems to have worked, and she said that she'd keep her ears open for him. Wow.

Anyway, it was a great, and way too short, night. The sound was good (of course, *anyplace's* sound is good when you're used to playing outside by a fountain, like I am), and the people were friendly and polite. And we made $27 each -- huge for a Borders, though $20 of it was from the nice Hawaiian lady. I was pretty close to writing off Borders, or at least that particular Borders, after our last terrible night there. This pretty much reverses that notion.

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 09Jan2010

A pretty quiet night. Not as many people as last week, for some reason. Maybe everyone has all their gifts exchanged by now.

They managed to get the stage relocated (after my loud email whining last week), but not quite to where I thought we were talking about. The "other side of the candle shop" location we'd agreed on would have been directly in front of one of the two entrances to the inside seating area of the food court, so I understand why they decided against it.

Instead, it was 50 feet straight out from there, pretty much up against the tables at the north end of the plaza. Interesting. A bit better, fountain-wise, especially audience visibility-wise (and not being in the "splash zone"-wise). I wasn't too much farther away from it, but it was far less noisy/distracting from the new place. Also, either I was farther from the speakers, or they got it turned further down, so the "House Music" wasn't an issue this time, either. Afterwards, I talked to the maintenance guy, and he asked if it was OK, and said that this was where it's gonna be "from now on".

I guess that's OK -- it's just a little weird to be right in amongst the tables. At the old place, there was an 8-10 foot passageway between the stage and the first of the tables. Now, there's only 3 feet. Various sets of people sat at those up-front tables through the evening (most of them to eat), but they had to be pretty brave (or deaf) to do so. I ended up standing farther back on the stage itself, just to get a bit out of their faces.

It's also right in front of the new Ice Cream Bar shop. I had gone in to talk to the dudes (and I mean *duuudes*) before I started -- just to explain/apologize in advance, but they were cool with it. And when I went in after to ask if I'd been a nuisance, they were still cool, and even gave me a free one.

The shocker was that, when I got all set up and hit the power, my harmony box wouldn't power up. Turns out that, although the box itself is built like a battleship, the AC adapters are ultra cheap, and the wire had just broken where it enters the adapter. I managed to prop it up just right, and tape the wire to the floor, to get it to work -- mostly. It only cut out 2 or 3 times, and since both the guitar and voice go through that box, when it goes out, I get instant dead silence. Embarrassing, but it started to fail pretty late, so there weren't many people left. (I emailed to complain and they've heard it before, and are finding a new vendor, and are sending me another (still lame) one.)

But, other than that, there was some fun to be had. I got two or three groups of teens that asked for some songs, Beatles and the new Jason Mraz song I just learned, etc. The burly guy who runs the Australian Surf Jewelry and Persian Fortune Telling shop (!?) came over and stared at my list for a while, then asked "Know any Sinatra?" First time I've gotten that one. But I kind of do -- Ol' Frank (along with everyone else) did "The Way You Look Tonight", so I played that one for him.

And it was the first public airing of "Here Comes the Sun", which I've been literally playing nothing but, all week. The first time through was pretty rough, but the second time I was less petrified (though more (fingers) frozen-stiff), and I played it pretty well. I've been heavily focussed on getting the guitar part down, and whether or not I could sing at the same time. Turns out, the main issue (for me, anyway), wasn't inability to play or sing it, but that the vocal itself sounded really weak. Not sure why, and it's not the kind of thing that I usually notice in my own singing, so I was baffled. Maybe I just need to get used to hearing me instead of George...

The most fun was a young family came by who had been there the week before and picked up my "Waltzing With Bears" CD. The mom brought the little 2-year-old up to the stage and told her to "Tell him what song you want". She popped out "Lollipop!" [Tree], so of course, I played it. She was completely thrilled, wiggling uncontrollably, dancing, crashing herself into her mom's shoulder to hide her face in glee. A few songs later, we all repeated the routine when she came back up and said, "Bears!". Too cute -- and made my night. Well, that and the 40 bucks.

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 02Jan2010

I was expecting a dead night, but when I got there, the parking structure was full! First time that happened! I had to park way down next to the Target, just about as far away from the Food Court as it's possible to be. Quite a trek, lugging all that equipment.

And when I made it to the Food Court, the stage was set up next to the turtle fountain again, and the House Music was quieter than at Christmas, but still pretty loud -- especially the piercing tambourine sounds. All this despite assurances from the Booking Lady that the stage would be back over by the entrance, and the music would be off. Grrr. But, no real choice -- I dragged the stage back 6 or 8 feet to get out of range of the water spray, and set up anyway.

But really, it's an unacceptable setup. With a cyclical wall of water between me and the main "audience" area, I'm invisible and inaudible half the time. Kinda hard to get any kind of rapport going...

Still, occasionally some people come by and sit at the big planter-box benches over at each side. They still can't hear half the time, but at least they can see me (and me, them). The highlight of the evening was a little pack of Woo Girls (shown). They sat and listened, and requested, and screamed out "Woooo!" at the end of every song. I wished they'd'a stayed longer.

But they were replaced after a while by three high school girls from OCHSA, (and one of them knew Acacia). They also listened, requested, and sang along for some songs, and were also gone too soon, to catch their movie.

About 8 o'clock, an elderly but spry lady came right up to me while I was tuning my guitar and exclaimed, "You've got a pretty tough act to follow!" I said, "Really? Why is that?", and she said, "The guy before you was really good!" I said, genuinely confused, "When was that? I've been here since six." It was her turn to be confused, and it became evident that she was thinking that "the other guy" was more recent than that. She looked pretty embarrassed as she realized that I was the same guy she'd heard earlier and was comparing me to, and she sort of backed off mumbling, and wandered away. Fortunately for me, it's not too hard to play as good as "the other guy", when the other guy is you.

At (only) one point, I had a pretty good crowd going, all seated around the planter-boxes. But that's pretty limited seating, and still too-well covered up by the acoustic onslaught of the fountain. Most of the night, I played for the turtles, and a stony silent response from the rest of the audience. At least the turtles, being stone, have an excuse...

The more it went on, and the more I thought about it, the angrier I got about the pointlessness of the situation -- playing into the wall of white noise. But when I got home and counted the tips -- $72.46 -- I got a little less angry. Apparently, being out in the traffic has some advantages, but I still think I'd prefer to be audible. Not to mention that since The Hat Incident, I'm all paranoid about having people milling around behind me. I'm not wearing the hat anymore, but that feeling of vulnerability won't go away. Who knows what the next joker will want to try?

Still, I'm not exactly prepared to quit playing there altogether (not having any better options), but I'm definitely gonna have to have a little talk with Booking Lady.

Keith at Irvine Spectrum "Myrtle Court" -- 23Dec2009

When I emailed the girl who books the acts at Spectrum to tell her about The Amazing Hat Stealing Incident, she, apparently by way of apology, offered to let me play at the Myrtle Court stage again for free, but within December, and the weekend nights were already booked. Better'n nothin', I guess.

It was a lot like last time, lots of people streaming by, too busy (or cold) to stop and listen. Come to think of it, I think more people stopped to stand under the umbrella heater behind me than stopped for the music. I did get a few young families -- parents seem to like to show their little kids a Real Live Musician for some reason. Since no one else was listening, I tended to pull out "Rudolph" for the kids. It usually invoked some singing-along by some of the teenage girls and moms-on-a-mission zooming by, too. Hard to resist calling out "Like a light bulb!", I guess.

A few small groups braved the cold for a while and sat at the tables to listen. And lots of people gave me a smile as they whipped by. The sound is pretty nice there, and it's still fun to play "out", even to dead silence, if only for those occasional surprise bursts of applause when you unexpectedly capture someone's attention.

And at one point, a guy stopped at the edge of the stage and said, "Hey, Keith! You're doing a great job, man. I've walked by here several times, and you sound just like John Denver." Thank you! But wait, who?!? I get told that I sound like James Taylor a lot, but I think this was the first time I've gotten John Denver. Anyway, I quickly flipped to my new John Denver song, "Leaving on a Jet Plane", which I'd instinctively avoided because of its extreme John Denver cheesetasticness, but I tried it out after it appeared on "Glee", and, after transposing it down for my vocal range and working up a cool guitar technique for it, it plays and sings real nice.

I didn't think I'd made much in tips, 'cuz so few people stopped at all, but there were 6 CDs gone, and $50.08 in the jar. Good thing Janet waived the $50 setup fee...

Keith at Santa's Workshop -- 20Dec2009

This was my final gig (this year) playing for the line of families waiting to plop their kids on Santa's lap. I had complained (via email) about the treatment I'd gotten the week before, and the Activity Committee lady was *very* apologetic and "hoped it doesn't happen in the future". I replied that it would be very simple to predict that piece of the future -- check the schedule, and let me know if That (Mean) Guy was gonna be there this time, so I'd at least know what to expect. She said that she'd check the schedule and get back to me, but never did.

So I went anyway, hoping for the best. That Guy didn't appear to be around, so I put my table closer to the "entrance", but had to move it back a ways anyway because otherwise it would get soaked by the "snow" machines. Because it was still pretty invisible, it only collected ten bucks -- but it wasn't the lack of money as much as the bad treatment that I'd objected to, so that's fine.

Lots more people, on account of this being the Last Chance. And it ran an hour past the official cut-off time, too. The kids and parents were in a pretty festive mood, and the line seemed to be moving faster, so I could cycle around and repeat songs sooner. That helped 'cuz I don't really have too many Christmas songs that kids know/like.

So I did play some "regular" kids' songs. But the unexpected highlight of the evening was after I had played "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", explaining that I play a lot of James Taylor so this one is arranged as if it was being played by him. Some of the parents started asking for James songs, and some of the teenagers (presumably big brothers and sisters) started asking for some Beatles, which their younger siblings were seconding! So I played "Hey Jude", with half the crowd/line singing along on the main part of the song, and seemingly *all* of it singing along on the "Na na" part! That song usually gets a good reception at a gig, but this was the best ever. After it was over I said, "Well, I don't usually think of that song as a Christmas Tune, but I guess it is!"

I kept getting requests for more James Taylor, too, so I slid in "Sweet Baby James" (which James originally meant as a kid's song, for his new baby nephew), and "You've Got a Friend" since it seemed to be in the right spirit of the evening.

And although the Committee lady never got back to me, she apparently got a message to the other Committee members, 'cuz they were *very* nice to me -- asking to help move my stuff in and back to the car, and clapping loudly, and when it was clearly running late, one of the guys came over and asked me if I was OK 'cuz one of the ladies was worried about me. Also the Hot Cocoa lady brought me some, which I had to decline because chocolate clogs up your throat (see, I learned *something* in all those choir classes). She took it away and brought me a cup of water instead, which I had already gotten for myself, so now I had two, and later on she brought another one, so I had three!

After it was all over, as I was packing the last of my stuff in the car, I saw the guy who had apparently been playing Santa, coming out of the building across the parking lot. It was That Guy! That explained both why he hadn't been there to hassle me, and also why the line was moving so quickly. He's not the kind of guy to dote much on the kids -- but he does seem to "own" the Activity Committee, so I guess he decided to take the plum job for himself that night. Figures.

K&W at Borders South Coast Plaza -- 18Dec2009

I didn't know whether it would be crowded because it's Christmas and everyone's out shopping, or whether it would be empty because it's Christmas and everyone's out shopping. I guess, the former. It was pretty empty right at first, but then people showed up and it was quite full towards the end.

There was a group of high school kids doing "free" gift wrapping (with "donation" jars, up at the front of the room. I gave them a song list, and the girls were really excited and asked for several songs. When I played them, they stood up and grinned at me, swayed back and forth, and gave me the thumbs-up at the end. That was fun.

But we had lots of people come down closer, too, and lots of participation, requests, and a presumably record tip take, $23 each. Must be Christmastime.

I mostly avoided playing Christmas songs, 'cuz Warren's not fond of 'em, but a young family, who we've seen many times there before, stopped in, and I couldn't let them go without doing "Rudolph" for the little ones. And later on, I did "Merry Little Christmas", and maybe one or two more.

But it was also the first outing for "I'm Yours", by Jason Mraz, and my new arrangement (using my newly-discovered/invented "clawhammer" right-hand technique) of John Lennon's "Imagine". They both seemed to work OK, even though I'm still working out how to I want to play "I'm Yours", and when to use the Harmony Box.

Anyway, the night seemed very short, which, I guess, since I've been playing mostly 4 hour chunks at the Spectrum lately and this was "only" 3, it was -- but I think I was also Having Fun.

Keith at Santa's Workshop -- 13Dec2009

I had forgotten that they'd asked me to start at 6:45 this week (instead of 6:00) to allow a local kids' dance troop to perform, so I got there at 5:30. That turned out to be a good thing anyway, 'cuz it let me get my stuff set up while the kids weren't dancing yet. And when the teacher got up and started to completely inaudibly try to announce the start of the show, I quickly got out a microphone for her. Pretty much saved her show, since she needed to announce each different song and the kids' names, etc. She was lucky I was there.

I wasn't quite so lucky. When I got there, I hauled all my stuff out, including the card table that I've been putting my tip hat and CDs for sale on. This was fine last week, and last year, too, but this time, a hard-nosed Activity Committee member immediately asked me, "What's this table for?". I told him, and said that it had been OK before, but he didn't want it there by the entrance where it's been, or even on the other side, and made me put it way back away from the walkway, where the families walking up to and back from Santa's house wouldn't even see it, much less be inclined to stop. I tried to reason with him, but it was clearly a closed matter.

I put my new signs, hat, and CDs out anyway, and hoped that people would seek it out if they wanted to contribute. And after I'd played and was tearing down, a guy came up and wanted change for a ten because he wanted to put five in the hat. I took this as a good sign, gave him his change, and watched him go back to the table and take one of each CD. Didn't expect that, but it's OK -- at a buck apiece to make 'em, I'm still "up" 3 bucks. And whatever else is in the hat...

Which turned out to be... exactly what I had put in there at the beginning; not a dollar more.

Now, I know I keep dwelling on the money, but that's really not why I play. I play for the appreciation (which the tips are a tangible token of, but clapping is just as good). And if they'd'a asked me to play, and told me up-front that I couldn't collect tips, I'd'a done it anyway. But I really didn't like being made to feel like a panhandler. That really threw me, and made it pretty darn hard to even go through with it.

But I eventually started playing anyway. I figured that that One Guy didn't want me there, but that he was in the minority. And I had fun. I'd learned "Feliz Navidad" over the week, since I had several requests for it last Sunday, and it went over pretty well for such a dumb song. There were more people there this time, and some pretty good applause. And I love the row of little kids staring at me through the little picket fence...

Towards the end, some of the Activity Committee members (not including That Guy) sat on the benches out in front of me and clapped loudly after every song. And as I was packing up, "Mrs. Claus" came out in her street clothes, thanked me, and said that she'd had to ask the Helpers if that was a recording or a live guy.

It's weird -- I know the guy in the red suit last week, and the white-haired lady this week, aren't really Santa and Mrs. Claus, but somehow their compliments warm me up twice as much as other peoples' do anyway.

Keith at Santa's Workshop -- 06Dec2009

The city of Mission Viejo builds a big display in the parkway between the city Library and the Civic Center and puts on a pretty elaborate Santa's Workshop and visits with Santa (and Mrs. Claus) every year, for the three weekends in December before Christmas. They finally figured out that they could get local people to come down and entertain the line of families that are waiting their turn to talk to Santa. Me, anyway...

It's pretty fun -- a nice, "targeted" (i.e., all about the same age), and captive audience. I just set up on the lawn beside the line (safe on the other side of the picket fence), and play Christmas songs. It goes over pretty well -- the kids like me, and the parents are grateful for anything to distract the kids so they don't go ballistic while they're waiting in line.

There are some Girl Scout volunteers acting as elves, holding the line back and letting each family go up to Santa's house one at a time. I set up a card table there at the head of the line, with a stack of CDs and a tip jar. Last year it worked really well -- the next-in-line family is kind of stuck there, staring at my table, having been listening to me for the last 15 or 30 minutes ("hint, hint"). A lot of CDs disappeared, and a lot of money took their place.

But this year, they've added a snow machine just above that entrance, with spotlights pointing down from the mast to show the snow as it flutters down. Unfortunately, the new stuff blew the fuse for that whole area and it all went dead,and nobody there knew where the breaker box was. There was plenty of ambient light around from the other displays and street lights, but it pretty much put my little display table in a dark hole. I guess that, plus the pretty light turnout (this was the first weekend), made for a light "take" ($29 -- still not too shabby).

I had fun -- it wasn't *too* cold, it's a nice amount of time (2 hours), and I like playing for (civilized) kids. And Santa's-lap aged kids are just about the right bracket. They all sing along with "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells" (as do some of the moms). It's actually kind of surprising, though, how few actual kids songs there are for Christmas. Most of them are of the "White Christmas" and "I'll Be Home for Christmas" soppy type. I can't really play those for the kids, so I augment the list with a few normal kids' songs like "Puff", "Lollipop Tree", and "Rainbow Connection". I did get several requests for "Feliz Navidad", so I guess I'll have to learn that one before next Sunday.

Keith at Irvine Spectrum "Myrtle Court" -- 05Dec2009

Right after Halloween, in a fit of hubris caused by two quite lucrative gigs in a row, I signed up to play at the Main Stage at Irvine Spectrum, which they call "Myrtle Court" for some no-doubt logical, but unknown to the general public, reason. I figured it would be Christmas time -- there would be lots of people there; I'd get to do my Christmas songs and sell my Christmas CDs; and if I got my daughters to sit at the Sales Table, we'd make out like bandits, even though you have to pay a $50 "setup fee" to play there.

Well, let's just say it didn't work out the way I'd pictured it. Actually, come to think of it, I did pay the fifty bucks, and there were lots of people there, and I did play lots of Christmas music, and my daughters did sit at the table "selling" the CDs -- I guess it's just the "bandits" part that didn't work out.

We did sell a handful of CDs, and covered the fifty plus eighteen, but I was really hoping to do better than that -- mostly because I had promised the girls that they could split anything over 50, but 9 bucks apiece wasn't really what any of us had in mind. (I gave them each $30, putting myself solidly in the red for the evening.)

But that's OK! I'm not in it for the money. It was actually a pretty nice place to play -- they turned down the fountain so it's hardly noticeable (and it's at least a consistent sound unlike the Food Court fountain), and the "house music" was completely off, unlike the Food Court where it's gotten louder than ever, made even worse by the new stage location even nearer a pair of speakers.

The side walls there are also parallel, and seem to make a nice little auditorium. It sounded pretty good to me. And I was singing pretty good, after so many weeks of this cruddy throat. I even seemed to have expanded bass range, but still could hit the high notes. And it wasn't too cold for my fingers to play, either.

My brother and his wife came by, as did a good friend from the Indian Princess program with his. And an old high school friend stumbled on us early on, completely surprised to see me there. The girls were there with me, and Daleen came by later on with the dogs. So I had friendly faces most of the night to sing to, which always helps a lot -- so big thanks to those that came out.

And, as I said, there were lots of people -- but they were all in a big hurry, either to get to the shopping, or to get out of the cold. There are tables and chairs along the fountain, and when Warren and I played there in the summer, there were lots of people sitting around, hanging out and listening. It sounds painfully obvious now, but people apparently don't just hang out when it's freezing outside.

Oddly, it now seems like the Food Court is a better place to actually rope people in, and collect some tips -- at least for a "cover band" like me (not to mention it's free). People are obliged to sit and listen for a while, at least while they're finishing their pizza, and can get hooked -- maybe get comfortable with how this is working, and make a request or two. At Myrtle Court, I'm just a curiosity that's impeding the traffic flow, and no one hears enough on their way through to really want to stop and listen more. And frankly, I hate to be immodest, but I think that I sound *too* "professional", and people assume I'm the paid entertainment, so they don't need to tip -- or even applaud. Still, I do think I'll want to try it again sometime when the weather's nicer.

But the big excitement for the evening was later on, when I was singing away, and a guy jumped up on the stage from behind me (which is a big open area), and stole my hat, mid-song, right off of my head! Everyone assumed that he was some friend of mine messing with me, so no one really reacted. But I sure didn't recognize him as he was disappearing into the crowd, so I told Geneva to "Chase that guy down!", and she leapt up to do that.

He didn't seem to realize that he was being chased, so he slowed down inside the Barnes and Nobel, and she shouted, "Hey you, gimme back that hat", and just snatched it out of his hands as he stood there surprised. Obviously she wasn't going to try to detain him, so he snuck out the back door. She did exactly the right thing -- she got the hat and got away from him, 'cuz who knows how crazy he could really have been. Fortunately, where she caught him, there were lots of people around, so it probably couldn't have gotten *too* crazy.

I couldn't think of anything else to do but wait to see if she did or didn't manage to catch up to him, so I just went on playing. A song and a half later, Geneva reappeared with the hat, and got a round of applause and hoots from the crowd.

This morning, as I was wondering about how the video I usually take came out, it occurred to me -- did I catch the whole thing "on tape"? Sure enough.

Turns out he had his girlfriend with him, watch for the lady in the long yellow coat, behind me right at the beginning. They're just strolling down the mall like anyone else. He apparently tells her what he's planning, and she just laughs while he's committing his daring robbery. After he takes off, she just walks back the other way after him. We didn't even know about the girlfriend until I found the video.

Anyway, pretty amazing. How can a guy just think that that kind of thing is OK? I can't even put it off on "Kids these days", 'cuz the guy's not even a kid. But he clearly thinks it's some kind of joke, 'cuz he's got a big grin on his face the whole time.

But, all's well that ends well, I guess. Geneva got the hat back, an amazing story to tell, and earned a new nickname: "Ninja-neva". It was a total miracle that she was there at all, 'cuz I'm all tied up with cables and a guitar, so *I* sure couldn't have caught him!

Of course, I'll never be able to wear that hat again without thinking about this, and it'll be worrisome to do gigs where the back side of the stage is open to the public (which is, now, *both* stages at Spectrum), but I'll get over it, I suppose.

So, crazy night all round. And like John Sebastian said, "We did it for the stories we could tell".

Keith at Irvine Spectrum -- 21Nov2009

It's getting colder, but this time I was clever enough to put the heater directly behind me so I was at least evenly warm on the back, though colder on the front. But it kept my fingers from getting too bad, both hands.

I had a pretty bad cold coming on, with a pretty scratchy throat -- and we were all out of cough medicine. I went for it anyway (of course), and only really crashed a song once with a coughing fit.

Just before my Halloween gig, I bought some of those little Mini Tootsie Rolls, in the little individual wax paper, twisted-on-the-ends, wrappers. I gave away some of them, but had lots left, so I've been trying to use them as "bait" to get people to come up to the Scary Table to get a song list. So I keep a half dozen scattered on the table next to me.

Late in the evening, a little family was listening off to the side: mom, dad, and little baby. After a while, the mom kinda snuck up (in plain sight) and put a small handful of twisted-end candies *on* the table. I thought that was a bit strange but sweet, until, an hour later (and after they were gone), I looked closer to find that they were actually throat lozenges. More sweet of her than I'd realized! And once I'd found them, they really did save my skin for the last hour or so.

Lots of kids were out, and kept asking for "Hey There Delilah" (as they do), but since that song is one of the three or four that inexplicably trash my throat even when I'm in good condition, I had to refuse. After the third of fourth group requested it, I finally said, "Sure I'll play it, if one of you will sing it". One of the girls turned out to be an OCHSA vocal music student, and her friends immediately forced her come up and do it -- and pretty well too, though not exactly her key. A big thrill for the group of them, and a nice breather for me.

K&W at Borders South Coast Plaza -- 20Nov2009

A nice little evening made novel by the appearance of our first "opening act" -- a couple of friends of Warren's wife who sing harmony doo-wop through a high-end karaoke machine against a piano on CD accompaniment. Sounds silly, but works out pretty well. I got there early to hear their last 3 tunes ("Calendar Girl", "In My Room" and "Love Potion Number 9"), and they're not half-bad. Apparently there used to be 4 guys, which was probably more impressive, but they do OK with two. (And hey, and how come *we* don't have matching outfits?)

Anyway, Warren hooked them up with the entertainment manager of that store (since all the music is individually booked now), and she either only wants music on one night a week, or mistakenly got the impression that the two bands were inextricably linked. Whatever.

Their being there had the unexpected side effect of prying Warren's wife out onto the town, so she heard us play for the first time in a long time. She was particularly interested in hearing the harmony box do its thing -- no doubt she's heard a lot about it (good and/or bad) from Warren. But she's always a pretty good audience. And after they'd found someplace for dinner, her friends came back to hear a few of our tunes, before they had to cut out for late-shift jobs.

Later on we had a friendly middle-aged lady completely involved, listening and requesting. Turns out she was visiting from Australia -- our second unaccompanied Australian lady in as many gigs. What's up with that?

We made $26 to split, but $20 of that was a single bill from our new Australian friend. She either really liked us, or it was that "Foreign Money looks like Play Money" effect, like I used to get whenever I was in Japan.